At any rate, after much prayer and debate, I've decided to post my journal of the past 21days on this blog. The first time I did an extended fast, it was after I read, "Confessions of a Fasting Housewife" by Catherine Brown. The book was nothing earth shattering or profound but it inspired me. It affirmed that yes, I can do this. Prayers that the following postings will have a fraction of the same effect.
Day 1
The first day of the fast…
I started to get hungry about 11:00. I don’t know why I opted to live it up yesterday with a full lunch, dinner and popcorn to boot last night. Not a good idea.
I’m realizing how much I like to snack. I keep catching myself wandering into the kitchen with grazing on my mind. It’s cool, though, because every time that happens, it reminds me to pray.
I find myself teetering between butterfly inducing excitement and self-pity. I pray that this fast will cause me to take my eyes off of self…
My fast focus is salvation and revelatory love of Christ for many family and friends. I’m believing for healing in my body from an injury a few months ago when I fell of the horse. I’m praying for finances to come into Godly order. I’m praying that all idols in mine and my family’s life will fall and that zeal and joy of the Lord will return. Believing too, that Holy Spirit will live at the forefront of our lives. I’m praying for the Lord’s divine direction regarding fostering and/or adoption, that our church would walk in all that the Father has planned. On a larger scale, I’m praying that the spiritual eyes of America will be opened. I pray that healthcare would become about people. Most of all, and with deep groaning, I pray that we, oh Lord, would KNOW You- not know someone’s interpretation of You or a false paradigm that we’ve formed in our hearts about You… but that we would really know You as an intimate friend, as the Father and as the Bridegroom King!!!
Isaiah 61:10
I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Day 2
Emotions are running together. I can’t tell if I’m sad, hungry or desperate for the presence of God; maybe a combination of all.
I’m listening to a teaching on the Glory of God. Scripture like ‘we are seated with Him in heavenly places’ and ‘set your mind on things above’ speak to me afresh.
I was reading on the internet about a guy who sought to “heal himself” by fasting. Reading his story, it was obvious he was not a Christian. But you know what? After an extended fast he was healed of his blind eye and his fasting partner was healed of a more troubling but unnamed condition. Some might say that these kinds of things are proof that there is no truth to the Word, that we are in control. For me, it quickens in the deepest part of me the sovereignty and the integrity of God. It proves that He honors His word and honors his principles. His law is unshakable.
I pray that You would draw that man to You, Lord. That his eyes will be spiritually opened.
Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Day 3
In the middle of the night last night, I got up to go to the bathroom. Immediately when I opened my eyes, I saw a dark presence standing beside my bed. I couldn’t see his face but I saw his form and I knew him to be about 7 feet tall and clothed in a long coat. My initial response was, ‘no wonder I was feeling so depressed’ and then ‘I expected to see into the supernatural but not the demonic’. I’ve only seen in the spirit a couple of times before but each time I’ve noticed it is a very different thing from seeing in the natural, dreaming, or daydreaming. It is truly an indescribable thing. I awoke Phillip shortly after and he was quick to pray. I wasn’t scared, just a little creeped out and today I feel pretty confident that it was an oppressive spirit. Rid me, Lord, of all oppression and demonic. Take my life back for Your plans and purposes.
I’ve noticed that the hunger pains are not driving me to want to eat anymore. When my stomach growls, I think, ‘ oh that’s uncomfortable’ and not ‘I need something to eat.‘ Last night I had green tea with honey and it was quite satisfying. I’m thinking that and liquid chicken broth will be my occasional treats, aside from my daily 2 cups of coffee.
I’ve been realizing what a gift it is to fast and marveling at the “methods” that are available to us to delve into the heart of God. Thank you, Lord, for what You’ve done and what You’re about to do.
Job 12:22
He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light.
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