I can’t believe it’s been 17 days!
Return to me, Oh God, that longing. That urgency and desire to be wrapped in Your presence. Shine the light on my lack. Restore passion. Shake me from my complacency. Wake me from my luke warm slumber.
Song of Solomon 2:14-15
My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.
Day 18
Sick today
Day 19
Still Sick )) :
Day 20
I haven’t written in a few days because I’ve been battling a cold and a stomach bug. I’ve also been emotional again! Last night I was watching a flash mob on you tube-- the huge groups of people who break out in dance in public places-- and I nearly cried. When I pondered what it was about that, that brought me to tears, I realized that it was the unity. A few hours later, I watched a different kind of unity on CNN as citizens revolted against Egyptian government and I ached for the heart of our Father.
I’ve decided to break fast tomorrow after church. Tomorrow is the 21st day and I suppose technically I should fast through tomorrow but I honestly get plum giddy at the thought of sitting down to a meal! There is this side of me, though that is going to miss the sacrifice. I feel deep down that He will call me to a different kind of sacrifice soon and I just trust that You will prepare my heart for that, Lord.
Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Day 21
Well…. Today I broke fast. I have been craving fajitas which is ironic since I have never ordered that before. After church, we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. I tried to go easy on the chips and salsa and quickly filled up before I finished my first fajita. At that point I missed feeling hungry. ( ;
Tonight I went to the Holy Spirit class that Phillip and I have been taking. We’ve had to take turns going because the hour is a conflict with picking Eden up from her rehearsals. At any rate, tonight was my turn to go. Pastor Mark felt led to close the lesson early so that we could have a time of prayer and worship. At first I felt nothing. I heard a lady behind me weeping but was unfazed. Next, the lady next to me was touched and I began to focus my prayers on her. Then it happened. I felt the tangible presence of God and it was so good! About that time, a lady behind me laid hands on me and began to pray, “Ignite her heart for You, cause her to hunger for You in a way that she has never hungered for You before.” This lady who I didn’t even know was praying the cry of my heart throughout these past 21 days and all I could think was, ‘God how like You to confirm Your desire and my desire on this 21st day. ‘ It was good and intense.
I can see where the Lord’s hand has moved through this fast. I didn’t get healing for my arm yet, but it has considerably improved. Phillip’s job has lots of new promising leads! My heart has been convicted on many levels. --Judging, for one, and watching too much T.V. instead of cultivating relationships.
I’ve discovered a new love and reverence for Holy Spirit. I’ve seen positive changes in my children. I know too that the effects of a fast are residual ,indeed and look forward to discoveries ahead.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the gift of fasting and the promise of fruit!
Psalm 103:1-5
Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
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